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My Approach To Providing Therapy in Los Angeles

I believe you are the expert in your own life. I believe your lived experience should be heard, believed, and respected. I believe everyone deserves healing and is worthy of love.

I work from an integrative approach, which means I adapt to what you bring to session, however there are specific approaches I call upon more often.

Humanistic Therapy

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Therapeutic Goal

Uncover untapped potential and positive parts of yourself that may be hidden or distorted and "become more of who you are"

Founded in the 1940s by American Carl Rogers, this approach centers the human experience. As a therapist, I believe in every person’s autonomy and inherent capacity for self-actualization (the top of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs) and support you with unconditional positive regard.

What this looks like in the therapy room is me being present with your experience, being very curious and reflective about what you say so that I fully understand, and reinforcing your strengths that you may or may not see. I focus on building a therapeutic relationship where you feel safe, supported, seen, and valued no matter what you do or say. It also includes reading the room, which could mean playing a game or doing some art to ground or shift focus. With families or couples, this means giving each person space for their unique humanity and their strengths in the relationship.

Narrative Therapy

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Therapeutic Goal

Create new stories with new meaning

Founded in the 1970s by Australians Michael White and David Epson, this approach is considered “post modern,” meaning we don’t live in a vacuum, societal influences play a role in our lives. The core principle of narrative therapy is the healing power of our stories. We gain meaning through the stories we tell about our lives and that these stories are influenced by the culture we live in. I believe everyone has a story to be told and that the words we use to tell these stories are important, and that each time we tell our story we learn something new about ourselves.

What this looks like in the therapy room is creating space to tell your story. Maybe telling stories you’ve never told before. Slowing down and reflecting on the words you choose and whether new meaning can be found. Realizing the impact of outside/societal factors and affirming you are not the problem; the problem is the problem, and finding a new way to see the problem. A lot of the editing of your story is done through answering very specific questions about your story, being curious about every aspect, and where new meaning might be hiding. With families or couples, we'd be looking at the "family story" or the "story of the relationship" and how each person has a different version of the story and could be minimizing another person's version of the story.

Psychodynamic Therapy

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Therapeutic Goal

Resolve the inner conflict caused by unconscious forces or "childlike" drives

The “original” psychotherapy popularized in the late 1800s by Austrian Sigmund Freud, this approach focuses on the unconscious and early childhood experiences on our current behavior. Psychodynamic is an umbrella term and has since spawned many types of psychodynamic approaches including ego psychology, object relations, self psychology, Jungian psychology, and attachment theory. While there are many specific principles to all these approaches, there are a few I focus on. Defense mechanisms are often deployed unconsciously by the ego to help protect from distress and balance the needs of the id (unconscious pleasure drives) and the superego (moral compass). Transference and countertransference refer to the unconscious projections that happen in the therapeutic relationship. Attachment styles describe the nature of our relationship with our primary caregiver in infancy and early childhood and how it can be unconsciously affecting our relationships in the present.

 

What this looks like in the therapy room is me providing psychoeducation about the unconscious, identifying defense mechanisms or attachment styles, and helping you work through life choices from a more informed and conscious point of view. With families or couples, this could be exploring what unconscious dynamics exist in the the relationship/family unit or what unconscious things might individuals be bringing into the relationship that have nothing to do with the relationship/family unit.

Existential Therapy

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Therapeutic Goal

Confront anxiety, death, pain, and suffering to find meaning in life and “how to be”

Influenced by 1800s philosophers and founded in the mid 1900s by Austrian and Holocaust survivor Victor Frankl, this approach is focused on meaning. Also called, “logotherapy” as “logos” is defined as “meaning” in Greek, the core principle is it’s a person’s responsibility to find their own meaning in life which can come from three possible ways: creating or doing something, experiencing something or someone, or finding meaning in unavoidable suffering.

 

What this looks like in the therapy room is exploring questions about life and your beliefs. Identifying your values and how you feel they are incorporated in your life. Talking about your identity. And even talking about death. All with the goal of clarifying your personal meaning in life. With a family or couple this might mean exploring how you define your relationship/family, what values it has, and what you want for the future.

Trauma Informed Care

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Therapeutic Goal

Recognize trauma and it’s affects and minimize re-traumatization

In his book on trauma, The Body Keeps the Score, Bessel Van Der Kolk said, "Long after a traumatic experience is over, it may be reactivated at the slightest hint of danger." Trauma-informed care recognizes that trauma can have a significant impact on how a person responds. Trauma affects our fight or flight responses in the nervous system, putting us on alert. Trauma-informed care asks "what happened to you?" instead of "what is wrong with you?" Trauma-informed care emphasizes safety, trust, empowerment, collaboration and attempts to minimize any re-traumatization.

What this looks like in the therapy room is me providing education about the nervous system and coping skills for nervous system regulation. Acknowledging the profound impact of trauma on everyday life and the body. Slowly approaching trauma stories to unpack them when regulated and grounded. With families or couples this might include recognizing trauma triggers of others in the relationship and attempting to break trauma patterns.

LGBTQIA+ Affirmative Therapy

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Therapeutic Goal

You feel safe and don’t have to do much to educate me

The two core principles of affirmative therapy are validation and advocacy. Validating that queer clients and couples have a different sociopolitical reality that heterosexual and cisgender individuals do not have to contend with. Advocating for what you want and not trying to change you, which involves me acknowledging and examining my own biases so they don’t interfere with treatment. Lastly, a commitment to my continual learning and immersion in the queer community.

 

What this looks like in the therapy room is a shared understanding of some of the aspects of being in the queer community and knowledge of the history of oppression and its impact. Read more about my queer affirmative approach here.

Motivational Interviewing

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Therapeutic Goal

Work through resistance to change to find inner motivation to change

This is a technique used to help a person confront a major change. It’s commonly used in work with addiction but can be used for any kind of change. It involves questions that help a person see all aspects of the change and their motivation for either changing or staying the same. It coincides with the 5 stages of change: pre-contemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, and maintenance.

What this looks like in the therapy room is asking questions to understand your point of view and goals. I would ask questions about pros and cons of current behavior. I would ask about needs and wants for the future. I approach motivational interviewing in a playful and curious style, where tough topics are broached but not forced. The goal is for you to discover where you want to go and what is most motivating for you to get there. With families or couples, this could be role playing to understand others' point of view on their motivation, or lack of, to change. It could also be you asking questions of your relationship or family and role playing how it might answer.

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Contact me

Interested? Reach out and I can put you on my waitlist. I'm currently not accepting new clients.

Mary Missig (she/her)

Associate Marriage and Family Therapist

AMFT #146870

phone: 805-765-1324

8702 Santa Monica Blvd

West Hollywood, CA 90069

Supervised by Oliver Drakeford, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist #104987

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